We don't have many stuffed toys in our house. Maya takes great delight in ripping them apart, so usually I'll give her a new plush toy and let her rip it apart and spread fluff everywhere for a day, and then manually destuff it and throw the "skin" back to the sharks terriers.
Cody though, is a gentler guy. He doesn't destroy them. He lays down with his paws on them or underneath them and then he gently nibbles them without causing any damage. He'll do this for a long while before usually curling up and taking a nap. He's completely quiet and calm and he seems to find it relaxing. To me it looks like he's grooming the skins, and so I tease him about grooming his "babies." Whatever they are in Cody's mind, I love seeing this sweet part of him that had been hidden for so long come out. Now he does this several times a week, usually laying on or by my feet and I never get tired of watching him.
Well....there are a couple ways you can look at it. Some folks look at it as a "which hurts more, saying goodbye or knowing that dogs are dying in shelters because you aren't opening your heart and home to them?"
I don't really like that. That to me is a lot of pressure, and foster parents need to feel comfortable taking breaks or even stopping fostering when its no longer a good match for their home. We should help these guys out of love for them, not because we are ashamed not too!
Another way to look at it (and the way I look at it) is that each foster will give more than they will take, but you will at first give far more than take from them. It will hurt, it will be stressful. But you will see them come out of their shell and start to thrive, and they will make you laugh - SO MUCH. They will give you their trust, and often times you are the first person they've given their trust too and you'll hold it like a fragile glass egg and worry about how hard you're holding it and how you're ever going to put it transfer that to another person's hands and trust them not to squeeze it too tight or let it shatter on the ground. But each of those little fragile hearts, once you have them, you can't imagine sending that heart back to the shelter or not fostering them. There are exeptions - most of us have had dogs who we kept out of a sense of responsibility and not because we liked or cared about the dog. Some dogs are just not enjoyable. But they are rare, and finding that family that DOES love that jerk dog that you get mad at and tell through clenched teeth "YOU NEED OUT OF HERE YOU &#$*#" after he's chewed through your last nerve - that's pretty special. You walk away with relief knowing he's not your problem anymore, and he's safe, and you did a good thing, and good freakin riddance.
So some of them are not hard. Believe me! Some of them you count down the days and send long ranting emails to a friend because you have to vent about how you want to punt this dog into the next county. And some of them break your heart - some of them you won't be able to let go of emotionally until you've seen them in their new home a few months later and realize that the dog has moved on from you, and its time for you to move on from the dog. That dog will likely always love you, and you'll love the dog - but you'll love it like you love a friend's dog. You'll step in and do whatever you need to do - but there is that separation, emotionally.
Now some dogs are special. Langley was special for Janell. Lucia was special for me. Cody is VERY special to me and he will walk away with a big chunk of my heart, and that will hurt. But I have no regrets. No regrets at all. He's worth every moment of the pain, of the irritation, the self-doubt - he is that amazing of a dog. So sometimes it will hurt more than you can ever know until that hurt is on you and it takes your breath away and feels like someone punched you in the gut....but you end up doing it all again because its worth it, and the pleasure outweighs the pain by at least a thousand fold.
So yeah....it's hard a lot of the time, and its easy some of the time. And the payout is huge, but the upfront cost can be high. But there is so much excitement when your foster goes home and you're waiting for that next transport and you can't wait to meet your new foster and start the process all over again!
If you aren't sure, you can always dabble by being a temp foster parent too and holding dogs who need a landing spot for a few days until their foster home can take them. Or you can be the very, VERY valuable vacation-foster home where you can pet sit while the foster parents are on vacation!
This brought tears to my eyes and gave me A LOT to think about. From one animal lover to another thank you for opening your heart and home to animals in need and sharing your experiences.
He is just darling! We rescued a Rat Terrier and brought him up from California 3 years ago and now I think it might be time to rescue another!
ReplyDeleteRebecca, they say rat terriers are like potato chips - you can't have just one!
DeleteSo true! I always wanted to foster but it must be so tough to give them up when they are adopted I don't know how you do it
ReplyDeleteWell....there are a couple ways you can look at it. Some folks look at it as a "which hurts more, saying goodbye or knowing that dogs are dying in shelters because you aren't opening your heart and home to them?"
DeleteI don't really like that. That to me is a lot of pressure, and foster parents need to feel comfortable taking breaks or even stopping fostering when its no longer a good match for their home. We should help these guys out of love for them, not because we are ashamed not too!
Another way to look at it (and the way I look at it) is that each foster will give more than they will take, but you will at first give far more than take from them. It will hurt, it will be stressful. But you will see them come out of their shell and start to thrive, and they will make you laugh - SO MUCH. They will give you their trust, and often times you are the first person they've given their trust too and you'll hold it like a fragile glass egg and worry about how hard you're holding it and how you're ever going to put it transfer that to another person's hands and trust them not to squeeze it too tight or let it shatter on the ground. But each of those little fragile hearts, once you have them, you can't imagine sending that heart back to the shelter or not fostering them. There are exeptions - most of us have had dogs who we kept out of a sense of responsibility and not because we liked or cared about the dog. Some dogs are just not enjoyable. But they are rare, and finding that family that DOES love that jerk dog that you get mad at and tell through clenched teeth "YOU NEED OUT OF HERE YOU &#$*#" after he's chewed through your last nerve - that's pretty special. You walk away with relief knowing he's not your problem anymore, and he's safe, and you did a good thing, and good freakin riddance.
So some of them are not hard. Believe me! Some of them you count down the days and send long ranting emails to a friend because you have to vent about how you want to punt this dog into the next county. And some of them break your heart - some of them you won't be able to let go of emotionally until you've seen them in their new home a few months later and realize that the dog has moved on from you, and its time for you to move on from the dog. That dog will likely always love you, and you'll love the dog - but you'll love it like you love a friend's dog. You'll step in and do whatever you need to do - but there is that separation, emotionally.
Now some dogs are special. Langley was special for Janell. Lucia was special for me. Cody is VERY special to me and he will walk away with a big chunk of my heart, and that will hurt. But I have no regrets. No regrets at all. He's worth every moment of the pain, of the irritation, the self-doubt - he is that amazing of a dog. So sometimes it will hurt more than you can ever know until that hurt is on you and it takes your breath away and feels like someone punched you in the gut....but you end up doing it all again because its worth it, and the pleasure outweighs the pain by at least a thousand fold.
So yeah....it's hard a lot of the time, and its easy some of the time. And the payout is huge, but the upfront cost can be high. But there is so much excitement when your foster goes home and you're waiting for that next transport and you can't wait to meet your new foster and start the process all over again!
If you aren't sure, you can always dabble by being a temp foster parent too and holding dogs who need a landing spot for a few days until their foster home can take them. Or you can be the very, VERY valuable vacation-foster home where you can pet sit while the foster parents are on vacation!
This brought tears to my eyes and gave me A LOT to think about. From one animal lover to another thank you for opening your heart and home to animals in need and sharing your experiences.
Delete